Frank (his friends call him Kingo) was born in a small town where men were men and homes were mobile, where going to school after the 8th grade was considered postgraduate education, and where the most popular bumper sticker said, "If You Can Read This, You Ain't From Around Here." According to his mom, he's been funny all his life. She got so tired of hearing, "Was he BORN FUNNY?," she'd respond, "You know, most baby's first words are mama or DaDa; Frank's were, "Stop me if you've heard this." There was no stopping him, just ask his teachers.

He wasn't the class clown, but he was the class wit. He tried to stay out of trouble by mumbling his little witticisms under his breath when the teacher was nearby, and only saying them out loud when she was gone. Or, at least that's the way it was supposed to work. One day in Chemistry class, it was foggy out and the teacher was late, and everyone was speculating as to why. So, Frank allowed as how, "Maybe the fog was preventing her from landing her broom?" What he didn't know was that she had not only landed, she had taxied up to the room and was standing right behind him. The bad news is, he got suspended; the good news is, what he got in trouble for then, he's getting paid for now.

And has been getting paid for since the day after Christmas 1985. It was on that day that he and his new wife, Wendy, hit the pavement together on what would become the longest comedy roadtrip on record. They had no home and just went from comedy club to comedy club and from hotel to hotel for 2,269 nights in a row, nonstop! Along the way, he was a quarter finalist on "Star Search," losing to a duck puppet, appeared on "An Evening at the Improv," "Comedy on the Road," "Showtime Comedy Club Network," the "Joan Rivers Show," and wrote for the "Tonight Show with Jay Leno."

On the morning of the 2,630th day, he went to work at a rock and roll station in his old home town as co-host of the morning show. Unfortunately, the station WANTED Andy Rooney, but HIRED Mike Royko. After 16 months they came to roughly the same conclusion about Frank's outspoken ways as his 12th grad chemistry teacher. The bad news is, they canned him; the good new is, what he got in trouble for then, he's getting paid for now.

He makes his living sharing those opinions on life and its hard knocks, with corporations and associations around the country. He'd be more than happy to do the same for you.